It's funny because this entire semester there have been a lot of things about Stevens that I've been struggling with. Sometimes I think I almost get what he's saying, but most of the time he's way off in another dimension. I've been struggling with a lot of his points and I've tended to disagree with him in a lot of ways.
Until today.
I was working on my project and it just kind of clicked. Things the way they are. Devoid of the romantic. We, as humanity, tend to lie to ourselves in order to make ourselves feel better. We think about the white light, what happens when we die. We like to think that we're important and that each person as an individual makes a deep impact on this earth and everyone is important. But we're wrong. No one is important. We all eventually fade away and there will be nothing marking our existence. It will be like we were never here at all.
I always understood this. I had no difficulty understanding this mindset. But my question was, why is this bad? Why can't we lie to ourselves? If it makes us feel better, then why should we have to face reality? Why must we feel insignificant? I'm perfectly okay lying to myself.
But then, as I wrote my paper, I realized how dangerous this mindset is. It leaves us longing for things that do not exist and will never be. It leaves us striving for a nonexistent goal, not one that is too far beyond our reach, but one that is not even there at all. What kind of life is this? What kind of life is one lived for something that doesn't exist? I think I'd almost rather waste my life doing nothing than strive towards something that will never be. At least then I'd be fat, lazy and happy.
You can lie to yourself. You can pretend you're happy moving towards a nonexistent goal. But what good does that do you or the people around you? In order to move forward, you must know reality. You must be aware of things as they are. Only then can you move towards something productive. You'll know that the things you do don't and won't matter. You'll know that it may be futile. You'll know all this, but at least you'll know. At least your goals will have this in mind. And maybe, then, just maybe you might be able to work towards a greater progress. Maybe you might make a tiny knick in time, and maybe it won't fade away so soon.
But even if you are not able to do this, you will be better as an individual, and you won't waste your life. And that is what is important. You won't make a lasting difference, but you are still you and you are still important to yourself and those around you. So, knowing the truth, knowing reality, you can now be free to make a difference in the lives of those around you. It may not be remembered forever, it may not make a great change in the universe, but it will be remembered and appreciated now, and that's all you can do.
I guess, I just wanted to conclude this class by saying, I was skeptical, but it turns out that I did learn something from Wallace Stevens, and it was no small thing to learn. And for that I am grateful.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Insignificance
Feeling insignificant is something that obviously everyone has felt. It's funny, though, because we've been talking about insignificance in terms of the universe and how small we are and how we're just a blip in the vast expanse of infinite, but that's not where I find insignificance. In fact, I feel quite the opposite. The fact that I'm still here and living and breathing while there is so much more kind of gives me meaning and makes me feel important. There must be a reason for it all.
However, I find my insignificance in the little things. A forgotten toy. A lonely park bench. Falling leaves. I find it in the forgotten things and the unnoticed.
I see this in the poetry of Wallace Stevens. I thought about this today after I recited my poem and we watched that planets movie.
Vacancy in the Park
March... Someone has walked across the snow
Someone looking for he knows not what.
It is like a boat that has pulled away
From a shore at night and disappeared.
It is like a guitar left on a table
By a woman who has forgotten it.
It is like the feeling of a man
Come back to see a certain house.
The four winds blow through the rustic arbor,
Under its mattresses of vines.
It's poems like this that make me feel insignificant. The image of a boat disappearing. A forgotten guitar. A man searching for something he lost a long time ago.
The last stanza serves as a reminder that man is fleeting, but nature will remain forever. The line "mattresses of vines" makes me think of those post-apocalyptic movies where they show cities taken over by trees and nature, where everything made by man is slowly decaying.
This poem reminds me that I am fleeting. It reminds me that it is so easy to be forgotten. It reminds me that loneliness is just around the corner. It reminds me that I am nothing but a small girl lost in the bustle of the world, and that I will soon be gone, forgotten.
This poem is about insignificance.
However, I find my insignificance in the little things. A forgotten toy. A lonely park bench. Falling leaves. I find it in the forgotten things and the unnoticed.
I see this in the poetry of Wallace Stevens. I thought about this today after I recited my poem and we watched that planets movie.
Vacancy in the Park
March... Someone has walked across the snow
Someone looking for he knows not what.
It is like a boat that has pulled away
From a shore at night and disappeared.
It is like a guitar left on a table
By a woman who has forgotten it.
It is like the feeling of a man
Come back to see a certain house.
The four winds blow through the rustic arbor,
Under its mattresses of vines.
It's poems like this that make me feel insignificant. The image of a boat disappearing. A forgotten guitar. A man searching for something he lost a long time ago.
The last stanza serves as a reminder that man is fleeting, but nature will remain forever. The line "mattresses of vines" makes me think of those post-apocalyptic movies where they show cities taken over by trees and nature, where everything made by man is slowly decaying.
This poem reminds me that I am fleeting. It reminds me that it is so easy to be forgotten. It reminds me that loneliness is just around the corner. It reminds me that I am nothing but a small girl lost in the bustle of the world, and that I will soon be gone, forgotten.
This poem is about insignificance.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Umbrella Trees
Well, I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I have had absolutely no idea as to what to post about. So, today I just took a peek in the Adagia to see if anything caught my eye, and, lo and behold, it did...
"All of our ideas come from the natural world: Trees = umbrellas."
I don't really know why this caught my eye - maybe because when I read this, I immediately thought of umbrella trees, which made me think of Dr. Seuss, and then I went on a long thought tangent about how awesome Dr. Seuss is - but that is far beside the point.
I'm not entirely sure if I even fully understand this quote, but it made me think a little about seeing things the way they are and where exactly inspiration, and how there is nothing that is truly original. This quote is so true, and it is lovely to think about. Of course all of our ideas come from nature. What else have we ever needed except nature? It is because of nature that we are able to survive. It is nature that was here before us, and it will be nature that will be here long after we are gone... We would be idiotic to think that we are so much better than nature that we can come up with better ideas than nature. We should be inspired by nature.
I also thought that it was interesting how, in this statement, Stevens is merely stating a truth (things the way they are). However, in stating this truth, he uses the imagination in order to illustrate reality. It was because of my imagination, and how I immediately pictured umbrella trees, that I was able to (kind of) understand what Stevens is saying. Yet again, he shows the relationship between the imagination and reality by explaining reality using the imagination.
"All of our ideas come from the natural world: Trees = umbrellas."
I don't really know why this caught my eye - maybe because when I read this, I immediately thought of umbrella trees, which made me think of Dr. Seuss, and then I went on a long thought tangent about how awesome Dr. Seuss is - but that is far beside the point.
I'm not entirely sure if I even fully understand this quote, but it made me think a little about seeing things the way they are and where exactly inspiration, and how there is nothing that is truly original. This quote is so true, and it is lovely to think about. Of course all of our ideas come from nature. What else have we ever needed except nature? It is because of nature that we are able to survive. It is nature that was here before us, and it will be nature that will be here long after we are gone... We would be idiotic to think that we are so much better than nature that we can come up with better ideas than nature. We should be inspired by nature.
I also thought that it was interesting how, in this statement, Stevens is merely stating a truth (things the way they are). However, in stating this truth, he uses the imagination in order to illustrate reality. It was because of my imagination, and how I immediately pictured umbrella trees, that I was able to (kind of) understand what Stevens is saying. Yet again, he shows the relationship between the imagination and reality by explaining reality using the imagination.
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